Sometimes life is funny

Today mom woke up and told me "I don't want to be in this room anymore." Just like that. It was a whisper, but I understood her clearly. I asked her if she wanted to go into the livingroom with the kids, and she just repeated "I don't want to be here anymore." I asked her if she was in pain, and she replied "no" , and she really did appear to be somewhat comfortable, but when I asked her if she was okay, she again replied "no". Instead of tippy-toeing around the subject, I finally asked her if she wanted to go to Heaven, to see Jesus, and Papa John, and she said "yes". This is what makes my eyes teary. I'm sure this whole process of dying is tiresome. I wish I could take her outside one more time, however if you knew my mom, she wasn't a big fan of "outside". She loves AC and TV, and CD's. ha ha. (anymore initials anyone?.....) She would love that.

It's 4:15am, and I haven't slept all night. I've been listening to her breathe, and looking up poems, and music for her memorial service. By the way, do you know there is a difference between a 'funeral' and a 'memorial service'? The presence of a body. That's the difference. If there's a body in a casket (ha ha, where else would it be..) , then it's a funeral. If there is no body, then it's a memorial service. That's funny. As if the body were there, the actual person were there, and it's not a 'memory'. I believe, and so does mom that the body is just a shell once the spirit of the person leaves it. I guess that's why she wanted to be cremated. That was her choice, not any of ours. She wants her ashes scattered with my Papa John's. Of all the times we discussed it, she never could make up her mind where. Just like her, let us figure that out. Somehow she gets out of all the 'hard' stuff. just kidding. but not really. I guess to her it didn't matter. She knows she will be in Heaven, not here. It's those left behind that want a say how things are done when she's gone. That's funny too. I guess you have to be here to get that inside joke. I'm so sleepy now, I'll try to get some rest. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. I never knew I had so many great friends, and family. I really do appreciate each and every one of you. Love, Suzanne.